we have pet lesbian snakes
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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