Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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