So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
