If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
