I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
