look no pants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
