My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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