No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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