Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
