at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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