this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
