Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
