Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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