I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
