just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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