Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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