So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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