Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
