Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
