my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize