butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
