That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize