One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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