You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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