I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
