The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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