I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
