I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
