seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
