Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
