Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
