So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
