you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
