Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
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