He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
