omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
