Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
