I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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