I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
