oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
