if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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