It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
