it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
