So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize