they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize