My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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