ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional