Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
