Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hoooooo maaaaan

(313): View more from Michigan

Yes?

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm retarded. Again.

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(248): Hoooooo maaaaan (313): Yes? (248): I'm retarded. Again. http://tfl.nu/k0ba

Replies (2) Good night (1537) Bad night (791)
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(503): View more from Oregon

this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

(541): View more from Oregon

dude.

(503): View more from Oregon

yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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(503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc

Replies (21) Good night (881) Bad night (3873)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.

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(610): I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting. http://tfl.nu/w8rn

Replies (9) Good night (1353) Bad night (7032)
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(970): View more from Colorado

went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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(970): went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out http://tfl.nu/unz9

Replies (16) Good night (1230) Bad night (6083)
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(706): View more from Georgia

just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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(706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm

Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (1783)
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(702): View more from Nevada

My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story

(702): View more from Nevada

they all just nodded

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(702): My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story (702): they all just nodded http://tfl.nu/l03v

Replies (6) Good night (2584) Bad night (1129)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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(623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt

Replies (1) Good night (1713) Bad night (868)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

Replies (14) Good night (827) Bad night (1742)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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(603): I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way http://tfl.nu/a69v

Replies (13) Good night (1765) Bad night (860)
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(213): View more from California

Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

(1-213): View more from California

best text I've received ever.

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(213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm

Replies (16) Good night (5016) Bad night (796)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.

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(402): My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing. http://tfl.nu/h7oz

Replies (6) Good night (1227) Bad night (671)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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(484): Beer bonging to Ave Maria http://tfl.nu/1lbd

Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (439)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.

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(636): Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present. http://tfl.nu/1iee

Replies (10) Good night (2579) Bad night (522)
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(831): View more from California

Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

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(831): Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really. http://tfl.nu/fn3m

Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (319)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

(1-708): View more from Illinois

I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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(708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7

Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (288)

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