Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
