If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
