So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
