3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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