Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
