I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
