He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
