I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
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The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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