Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
