That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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